I Don't Want to be You
In an industry where I’m surrounded by women who far exceed me in beauty, success, & popularity...I've never felt insecure.
I want to start with a disclaimer that I despise the term “influencer.” I neither identify with it nor want people to call me one, but for the sake of this post, I use it sparingly to be clear about the industry I work in.
“It must be so hard…being in an industry where everyone is so pretty…and so many people leave you hate…how do you deal with it?” My sister asked me as we rode down 34th street in our Uber. This is probably the most commonly asked question I receive as a content creator.
Do I struggle with comparison? If you’d asked me in middle school, I would’ve told you that it’s my daily tormentor from morning to night. I’d wake up wishing I was a different race, that I was skinnier, had cuter clothes. I wanted to be a soccer player with a ton of “popular” friends. But if you ask me today, my answer is simply no. I don’t think anyone could survive as an influencer struggling with comparison. Eventually, they would crash and burn.
Upon entering the influencer industry, comparison wasn’t something I struggled with, and I knew that was one of the most important requirements to be here. In an industry where it feels like your “competitors” are all physically attractive, talented, rich…how could you actually survive without crippling insecurity if you struggle with comparison?
Someone will always be prettier, more successful, talented, richer… but they will never be you. My value doesn’t lie in those worldly traits. Put your value in those things, and you will never be satisfied. You will never be happy. Beauty is fleeting. Instead, my value lies in being a daughter of the most powerful King. At influencer events, I’m surrounded by beautiful, successful women, most of whom have many more followers than me, but not once have I ever felt insecure around them. But…how? I have all the reason to be…right? Why would I feel insecure when the creator of the universe, the most powerful King, has created me unmistakably to fulfill my purpose through Him? How marvelous is that?! I wouldn’t want to be anyone else because I am me! Those women at influencer events, they’re also created beautifully and unique in the image of God, but I’m not supposed to be any of them, and nor do I want to be. God made each one of us with masterful, curated intention.
And for the latter part of my sister’s question…how do I deal with hate? Well, it’s simple. The only opinion that matters to me is God’s. I am proud of who I am–not because I think highly of myself but because I adore the one who created me. If He is for me, who can be against me? Confidence in oneself is shallow and fleeting, but confidence in God is fortifying and sustaining. Because my confidence lies in Him, “hate comments” don’t bother me. The Bible prepares Christians to struggle, to be persecuted, but God loves ME! How could opinions of others ever compete with that?!
So…the short answer is no. While I once did, I no longer struggle with comparison because God created me unmistakably, and I don’t have to “deal” with hate comments because God is the only one I aim to please. When you have that kind of joy and peace that surpasses all understanding, you no longer feel imprisoned by worldly standards. God’s opinion is the only one that matters. Life becomes simpler. Life becomes liberating.
“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”
Psalm 16:8